I went to MESH to use the WiFi, but I was having phone trouble. Like, my so-called smart phone had called someone without my knowledge or consent and it wouldn’t shut up or hang up no matter what I did. I powered off and then the robot kept telling me to press 1 if I wanted to buy a Cadillac, or 2 for a Rolls Royce. As cathy would say:
Or as Kathy would say:
But in actual fact I said neither ACK!!! Nor Acker!!!!! I used a different expletive, and I regret it because even the Zen Buddhist monk who was working at MESH, coding some program, pretended he didn’t know me, even though we had sat zazen not two days ago at the brand new location of Dust Bowl Dojo — Bakersfield Budo at 24th & N Street — even though I had gone to see his band, Tanked, at Jerry’s Pizza, and had dived into the mosh pit head first (a huge and regrettable mistake). There was a children’s class in one of the other rooms, and my pirate vocabulary was not appreciated. I wish I had made a less dramatic entrance, and when the receptionist asked me my last name, I told her I must have forgotten it in my other pants.
In spite of all that, I was not banished from MESH, unlike my previous episodes of Tourette’s Syndrome that resulted in banishments of lo, so many, many years, I was allowed to stay and work on my blog.
Of course, that may be a mixed blessing to anyone who has had the misfortune to read this far, precious minutes of your life wasted that you will never get back. Blah, blah, blah . . .
Hey, I said I was a writer. I didn’t say I was a good writer.