Wilson & Dexter


Wilson, Dexter, and I

I had a nice visit with my dear friends, Wilson and Dexter. They are excellent companions, and are always thrilled to see me–mostly because I always bring them snacks. That day was no exception, though, due to dietary concerns, I was not able to share the ricotta filled scones with blueberry glaze I had purchased from Bernadette at Blue Oak Coffee Roasting. Excellent, by the way. Bernadette’s shop is at 1717 20th St, Bakersfield, CA 93301, right next to Salt7even Float Center  and around the corner from Inner Bodyworks Yoga Studio.

I was just at a meditation session at Inner Bodyworks with El Sharp when we caught a whiff of the coffee roasting at Blue Oak so of course we had to go over there. Bernadette is such a great name for a coffee roaster. Actually, it was supposed to be a meditation session, but since no one else showed up it turned into a jam session. I had my guitar tuned to Eb, à la Jimi Hendrix, as I was hoping to play her “Spanish Castle Magic” as a send off to her imminent voyage to Spain to study the gong and esoteric yoga with the eminent guru Helen Miller Lynch.

Spanish Castle Magic
by Jimi Hendrix

It’s very far away
It takes about half a day
To get there
If we travel by my… Dragonfly

No it’s not in Spain
But all the same
You know
It’s a groovy name
And the wind’s just right

Hang on my darling
Hang on if you want to go
You know it’s a really groovy place
And it’s just a little bit of a Spanish castle magic

The clouds are really low
And they overflow
With cotton candy
And battle grounds
Red and brown
But it’s all in your mind
Don’t think your time
On bad things
Just float your little mind around
Look out

Hang on my darling yeah
Hang on if you want to go
It puts everything else on the shelf
With just a little bit of Spanish castle magic
Yeah baby

Hang on my darling yeah
Hang on, hang on if you want to go
It puts everything else on the shelf
With just a little bit of Spanish castle magic

Its all in your mind
A little bit of daydream here and there

So, anyway, we played some songs and her voice is phenomenal. When I arrived she was singing “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.” If she sounded any better, she’d be sued by the family of Marvin Gaye for copyright infringement. Since I was already tuned down to Eb, I suggested playing “2 More Bottles of Wine” by Emmylou Harris, which we did, though El Sharp’s participation was less than enthusiastic. I find that when dealing with divas, you obtain the best result by letting them choose the song. So, she chose a song by Adele, “One and Only.” Then she did “Love Song” by The Cure, which was covered by Adele. The chords are really simple so I picked it up right away, and El Sharp gave me suggestions because she knew it on guitar. The melody is beautiful, and you’d think that the chords would be secret, sacred chords, like the ones that David played, that pleased the Lord, but they were really just regular. Hallelujah! They didn’t sound regular when graced with the devine voice of El Sharp. I am going to trick her somehow into performing, and then the world will hear what I heard. You don’t want to know how long I’ve been trying to get her just to jam.

Wait a minute, sir, I can hear murmurs and grumblings from the peanut gallery:

“What’s this about her going to Spain to learn the gong from her guru? I don’t believe you. You made that up.”

I can assure you that my claim is entirely factual. Indubitably. Of course, whenever I hear about it I think of The Gong Show, and also the line in the Cab Calloway song, “Minnie the Moocher.”

She messed around with a bloke named Smokey
She loved him though was cokey
He took her down to Chinatown
And he showed her how to kick the gong around
Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi (hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi)
Whoa-a-a-a-ah (whoa-a-a-a-ah)
He-e-e-e-e-e-e-y (he-e-e-e-e-e-e-y)
Oh-oh-oh-oh (oh-oh-oh-oh)
She had a dream about the King of Sweden
He gave her things that she was needin’
He gave her a home built of gold and steel
A diamond car with a p-la-ti-num wheel
Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi (hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi)
Ho-dee-ho-dee-ho-dee ho (ho-dee-ho-dee-ho-dee ho)
Skip-de-diddly-skip-de-diddly-diddly-oh (skip-de-diddly-skip-de-diddly-diddly-oh)
Bour’rrigy-bour’rrigy-bour’rrigy-oh (bour’rrigy-bour’rrigy-bour’rrigy-oh)


[I go into full Cab Calloway mode, disturbing the tranquil mood of Dagny’s Coffee until a random stranger punches me in the mouth. I thank him profusely. Then I am brought back to earth when my friend throws down on the table a small battery for my guitar tuner. I only had to remind him several times to bring it, and I’m overjoyed that he finally remembered.]

Where was I? Oh, yeah. I was going to tell you about Wilson and Dexter, but that will have to wait for another time.

Ciao, bella.



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